Don't settle, petal.

Its no secret I'm a fan of the zodiacs. Ok so 'Fan', is probably an understatement. I'm religious about star signs. And its no secret my favoritism towards certain signs and my bias hate for others. Gemini, Aquarius, Libra would have to be my top 3. But Capricorn, Scorpio, Taurus, Ergh ! Gemini's oh how I LOVE my Geminis. Every boyfriend I have ever had. Gemini. Mel, David, both Gemini's. Suchhhh a volatile couple we are, but what chemistry we produce. The current jerk in my life, although never been my boyfriend. Also a Gemini.

I always judge a person by their star sign. I know that's not a good way to do things, but I just can't help myself sometimes. It truly tells you so much about a person. Like it tells you Geminis are two faced, untrustworthy - no matter how much you think you can trust them you can't. They are deceptive, fake undermining bastards. The image they portray and the image that is reality is always completely another. Geminis are dreamers, that's why they are so far off the mark most of the time in life. I don't know why I love them so much, the above doesn't sound all that appealing, does it. But then again, I always attract the insecure untrustworthy kind. Standard Sara's type.

Why would I want to be with someone who trusts me, or loves me for me - not my 2am booty calls. Why would I want to be with someone who puts a cheesy grin on my face the second they wake me in the morning, and that tells me I'm beautiful, funny, smart, and everything they've always dreamed off. Why would I want to be happy. You know what's even worse. Why would I think I deserve any less than this ? Why would I settle for any less? Why DO I settle for any less. I don't know why. And its not like I think I can't do better, I'm not the settler, I'm the reacher. I'm that average looking girl with the enormous standards, everyone has a friend like me. I'm that friend that is so picky. That see's a supermodel of a man and says 'hmm he's ok, but I probably wouldn't date him'. Ummm just quietly Sara, he probably wouldn't date you ! Hahaha. No but you get my drift, I think I deserve the world. Plus more. So why I settle for this current asshole of a Gemini's sneaky tricks is beyond me.

I left my phone is his car yesterday by accident. I know he would have went through my inbox, and probably my photos and everything else with it. I would not be surprised. When i say he WOULD OF, I mean I have no solid proof, but I know this boy. There was two opened messages in my Inbox that were received while the phone was in his presence, and he read them. Why not the others? He wouldn't be able to resist. He's so insecure he needs to know everythinggggg. And that's annoying because now, if this is true, I'm turned off him for life. If being an asshole and a jerk and treating me like complete crap wasn't enough (and it wasn't clearly, cause I still talk to him) this just turns me off even more. I HATE people touching my stuff. I would have been more upset if I expected better, but honestly I didn't. I expected this from him, whole heatedly.

I've been writing a message all day, something nice but firm that pretty much says we can't talk anymore, but I just haven't got it right yet. The wording is all off. But when I get it right - that's it. And I knowwww I've said this before. I know I know. But this truly is. The end.